


Moieties

by Alice_Luna



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drabble Collection, Drabbles, F/M, it's jumble of things that I've posted on tumblr, some are more implied touken/tousaki, some fluffy and cute, some sad, sometimes AU, there's not really any order to them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-14 16:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 17,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7180304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Luna/pseuds/Alice_Luna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Small bits of their story together and apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sweet Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I'm putting all of the drabbles that I have on my tumblr here for easier access. I hope you all enjoy~

It was when he yawned for the 5th time that she suggested he take a nap.

He gave her a sleepy smile and mumbled “Thanks Touka-chan,” before falling into her lap and drifting off.

“Maybe you should stop drinking coffee at night,” she suggested to the boy who insisted that the only way for him to get any decent amount of sleep was to take naps on her lap. But she knew that the real reason was because of the constant nightmares he had was the reason for his restlessness.    

“No.”

She sighed in frustration, wanting to hit him, but choosing not to. Instead she rested her hand in his white hair, stroking his head. His hair is surprisingly softer than she imagined. Quickly she realized what she was doing and pulled her hand away from his head.  

But Kaneki took her hand and placed it back on the top of his head. “Don’t stop.”

She continued to stroke his head and he sighed out in relief before falling asleep. Touka couldn’t help but smile at his sleeping face.  


	2. Hold Me Close

“Kaneki,” Touka called out, irritated as she put her pencil down.

“What is it, Touka-chan?” he asked as he nuzzled into the crook of her neck.  

Her eyebrow twitched as she felt his hair tickling her neck. “I can’t study like this.”

“Hm?” He looked up at her. She was so cute. “But Touka-chan, you were the one who wanted to sit on my lap,” he pointed out as he tightened his grip on her waist. Touka-chan’s so comfortable. He really liked the way that she fit against his body.    

“You decided that on your own!” He kind of just pulled on her while she was distracted by a question and she easily ended up sitting in his lap. At first she didn’t mind it since he wasn’t doing anything, but now he’s just being annoying. “Let go of me!” she demanded while trying to push his body away from her.  

“Don’t wanna.”

This guy!

“Kaneki—!” She turned her head, slapping his face with her long hair so that she could face him while she was yelling, but Kaneki took advantage of the situation and pressed his lips against her own.  

He nuzzled against her neck again and looked up into her eyes. “You really are cute Touka-chan~”

Red spread all the way to Touka’s ears and she couldn’t bear to look at him without getting any redder.  

“Idiot Kaneki!" 


	3. Snow Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU: If they knew each other when they were younger.

The snow finally piled high enough to play, but what good was it to play by yourself? A little girl stood amidst the white, twisting one of her feet into the white as she waited for him to arrive.

“Touka-chan!” a young boy called out as he rushed towards her, “S-Sorry, were you waiting long?”  

“Ka-ne-ki!” The girl jumped him, causing him to fall back into the cold white blanket. “You’re late! Why did you take so long to get here?”

“Sorry Touka-chan, I didn’t mean to take so long.”

“Humph!” she scoffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You were probably reading a book again and forgot.”

“I’m sorry!” But seeing that the pout on the girl’s face wouldn’t disappear, he knew that he had to fix it or she’d be in a bad mood for the rest of the day. There was all this snow around so… His hands quickly got to work. “Look Touka-chan!”

She looked reluctantly and gasped in excitement as her face broke out in a smile. “A snow rabbit!”

“Are you still mad at me?”

She shook her head feverishly while still amazed by the rabbit. She could never stay mad at him for long. “Hey, show me how to make one!”

“Sure!”

And so the spent rest of their playtime making a huge family of little white rabbits until their hands were so cold that they decided to hold hands the entire way home.  


	4. Stay or Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time, we have Haise instead of Kaneki.

“Will you leave me?”

Four simple words strung together to form a simple but not so simple question.

For her, this question meant the world. For a lonely, lonely girl, the answer could harden her to the point where she wouldn’t let anyone in again. She probably would be even more afraid to end up alone. For the girl who lost almost everything, this answer could save her from her fears. Wouldn’t it be a lovely thing if the girl who almost everyone leaves has someone who will never leave her?   

That would be her happiness. For the people she loves to stay with her instead of leaving all the time. Wouldn’t that be wonderful if that one wish of hers was fulfilled? 

He looked at her, looked directly into her eyes, yet hesitating on his words. “I love you,” he admits.

Her strength, her earnestness, her compassion. Yes, her beauty ran deep. He was mesmerized by such beauty. But he could see loneliness coloring her eyes and something stirred inside him. He loves her, he’s sure of that. He wants her to be happy. He wants to hold her and tell her that he’ll always be there for her, so she doesn’t have to be sad.  

But as much as he wanted to do all those things and more… 

He just can’t. 

Right now, he’s walking on a thin line that keeps getting thinner as the days come and pass. He walks between his present, with CCG and everyone, who’s like a family to him, he’s gotten to known during those short years, and his unknown past, which haunts him yet seems far more familiar than that little ‘family’. Which can he chose? Does he even have a choice?  

Even a toe too far out of line will cause him to fall into a dark, dark place. Then what will happen to his fragile sanity? Then who can he trust and rely on? Then who can understand him, who is nothing more than a vessel that’s nearly breaking? Or will he be alone? 

A lonely little boy… He feels like he’s been there before. Somewhere where he was all alone and the only comfort he had was in the books he read. 

Can such a broken person possibly protect anyone? 

If anything, he might put her in danger. 

“That’s not the question.” She swallowed to try to hold the tears back because somewhere inside her she knows, she knows that it’s impossible for people to stay. But she asks anyways, hoping each time that the answer will be different, hoping that finally she won’t be left all alone. And so she asks, “Are you going to leave?”  

He answers in the only way he can. “I don’t want to leave you. I’m sorry if I do.” That is that best that he can do for her right now. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes looked a little sadder, like the day when he first saw her. Haise pulled her close, murmuring softly into her ear, “I’ll try to stay.”  

She closed her eyes, relishing in his warmth. For that, that had to be good enough. 

At least he would try.  


	5. Mizpan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mizpan (n.) - The deep emotional bond between people, especially those separated by distance or death.

“Stay here,” Yomo commanded quietly as he climbed up the ladder.  

She sighed. Being in the underground wasn’t as bad as she initially expected, but it was certainly lonely when Yomo went to hunt or gather any other necessities. He said that soon they wouldn’t have to stay here, but even so, it’s not like she can just go out with this appearance.      

Touka rummaged through her bag and pulled out a book. Even though Yomo had told her to only pack what she absolutely needed, she couldn’t bear to let this book go, it was the only thing that she still had of Hinami. Monochrome Rainbow… She remembered how Kaneki said that these stories were easier to read than most of the stuff that he read, so even she could probably read this right?    

So she opened to the first page and began to read.

 

* * *

 

“I’m amazed that you can read that depressing crap.”

“Shut up, Shitty Nishiki.” She’s finally getting the hang of the difficult kanji without getting too much of a headache. But all headaches aside, she felt like she could kind of understand what Kaneki liked about reading.

He threw a book in her lap and mumbled, “Late birthday present.”

“Thanks.” It was his favorite (at least she assumed that it was his favorite since he always seemed to have it on him). She opened it up to find his name delicately printed inside and traced the letters.”Where did you get this?”

“Saw it in a used bookstore.”  

“A used bookstore?”

“Guess when people moved stuff out of his apartment, that’s where they took his books,” Nishiki explained, but Touka didn’t seem to be listening at continued to stare at the delicate letters of the book.  “Hey, are you listening shitty Touka?”

“Where is that bookstore?”

 

* * *

 

They finally saved enough money for a building so that they could build up another home.   

“How do you want to design the cafe?”

“I get to choose?” Yomo nodded and Touka took a quick walk around the empty building. If it was too similar to Anteiku, then people might catch on that ghouls were running the cafe. But she would be lying if she didn’t want it to be similar to Anteiku. Regardless, she wanted this to be an easy place to return to. “Bookshelves along the edge of the walls,” she decided. “Tables and comfortable couches over there. Tall stools at the bar. Can we do something like that?”

“…That’s a good idea.”

“I know just what kind of books to fill them with.”

He liked books by Takatsuki Sen, but those weren’t the only books that he enjoyed. It would have been easier if Hinami was around since she and Kaneki had similar tastes in books, but she was sure that she could do something like this herself. And like heck if she’ll ask Tsukiyama for help! (She didn’t even know where he was to begin with.)

Kaneki apparently had good taste in books. Takatsuki’s books were vivid, with plots that had twists and turns, but there seemed to be a wider message to them. Touka wanted books that weren’t just well written, but she also wanted books that say there was a home that everyone belonged to. She wanted books that had that kind of message where there was still a home for children who had been lost.

So she read and read, searching for those kinds of books.

So she waited and waited, hoping that someday he’ll come back.    

 

* * *

 

The cafe was ready for opening. The coffee was the same as Anteiku, using the same coffee beans and the same methods. The books were the same as the ones he and Hinami enjoyed. She and Yomo (and Nishiki on occasion) were there managing it.

Even though there was a small chance of all of them coming back, she’ll still be here, waiting. This was a new home for them.

She smiled as the bell rang, signaling for their first customer. “Welcome.”  


	6. Backpfeifengesicht

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backpfeifengesicht (n.) - A person who needs to be slapped; lit. “a face that needs a fist in it”.

Hinami and Ayato were talking in peace upstairs (they had wanted to rest before they leave again) while Yomo gone with Banjou-san and the others on the shop floor to have their coffee there, leaving her and… Kaneki alone.

Kaneki sat in :Re’s backroom, looking as lifeless as he did when his hair was completely white.

He hasn’t changed at all and she’s not sure how she should feel about that. She’s not sure if it’s reassuring or if it’s even more worrying. Because he probably still thinks that he can’t be happy. He probably still thinks that he has to be the tragic hero. He probably still thinks that that’s the only way this story will turn out.  

She set down a cup of coffee in front of him. “Thank you.” But he didn’t dare touch it.  He stood up. “I should get going before they start looking around here.”  

Before he could reach the door, she grabbed his hand. “What are you planning on doing now?” He didn’t answer her. “Are you going to keep running? Or are you going to let yourself be killed?” His head was down and he refused to look at her, so she stepped in front of him, asking, “Which is it?”

In a low voice, he answered, “It doesn’t matter. I just don’t want you all to suffer because of me.”   

_SLAP!_

“You damn idiot!” Her voice was low but fierce. She took one step towards him and he took one step back.  “You shitty piece of crap!” How could he keep doing this?! She grabbed the front of his shirt, demanding answers to questions that he’ll never answer.“Why do you keep spouting out the same nonsense! Why can’t you just stay here? Why can’t you stay with us? This place, Re, was built for you! So that you would have a place to belong to!”

His eyes widened and she could see a faint glimmer of light pass through his eyes. “For me? But I… ” Why couldn’t he understand that she just wanted him here? Close to her? Why does he feel like he has to leave again?   

She gripped his shirt tighter. “Then stay because I refuse to let you go again. If you’ll leave for our sakes, then why can’t you stay for our sakes? If you really want to protect us, why can’t you do it while you’re here and not off somewhere fighting an enemy that will never cease to exist?” She took a breath and said, “Just tell me what you want to do for once. I’m tired of trying to guess what’s on your mind. So just spit it out Kaneki.”

“I…want to die,” he confessed quietly.  She let go of him in realization of his words. “I’ve wanted to sacrifice myself for someone else’s sake, like Hide did for me. Hide… let me eat him so that I could survive. But even before that, I’ve wanted to die. I’m so tired of this. I’m just tired of everything, so please just let me do this, I don’t want them to harm any of you.”

He really hasn’t changed, he still had that same selfish attitude.  

“You really are an idiot.”  No matter how hard life was, she still wanted to live and she wanted people to live alongside her. She was too tired of losing people to death. This might just be her own selfish wish, but she didn’t believe that Kaneki just wanted to die like this. Touka wrapped her arms around his torso. “The biggest idiot I’ve ever seen.”

“T-Touka-chan?”

It felt good for him to say her name again and she felt better when she heard him say her name like that after so long.

“If you keep talking idiotic things, then I’m going to hit you again.” And this time, she’ll try harder. “Do you really think that Hide would’ve wanted you to die? Didn’t he want you to live? Isn’t that why he sacrificed himself? You would just be wasting it if you die right now so you have to live. You have to live for the sake of other people. Your life doesn’t just belong to yourself.”

She felt his arms wrap around her as he leaned further down against her smaller body.

He whispered something in her ear and for the first time in years, she saw an expression that the old Kaneki Ken would have.  

She let go of him and looked down, hoping that he couldn’t see the red on her face. “Come on, let’s go finish the coffee.”


	7. Hiraeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hiraeth - a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.

He groaned slightly and massaged his eyes, too tired to continue his paperwork. He took a sip of his cold coffee and once again realized how quiet his new apartment was. Before, he could hear Urie training, Mutsuki stumbling around his room while he studied, Saiko playing her video games, and…Shirazu tinkering around with his motorcycle.

This quietness reminded him too much of when he was living with his mother. It was eerily quiet all the time with only books to keep him company. But even that wasn’t really a home for him and his aunt’s house was even worse. It was just a cold building filled of cold stares for him.

His first home was probably Hide then. Hide was the only one who was willing to be there, willing to listen to the troubles that he couldn’t verbalize, even when they were young. Talking to Hide and just being around him made him feel better.

But then…He was afraid to be around Hide. He was afraid of hurting Hide, so he left that home.

Then Anteiku became his home. There were kind people there. Manager, Koma-san, Irimi-san, Nishiki-senpai, Hinami-chan, and Touka-chan. They accepted his circumstances and accepted him, just as much as Hide had. They took him in when he thought no one else would and showed him how he could live in this world as a half ghoul. They were more of a family than his real family ever was.      

But in the end, he destroyed both of those homes, didn’t he? If it weren’t for him, then Hide would still be alive. If it weren’t for his existence, Anteiku would still be there. So he left the Chateau before he could further destroy it. He decided to do the same for that cafe, before the same fate would befall to them.

Yet despite his sins, his logic, and his mistakes  he still wanted to go back to that place.

But he couldn’t go back there, to them, to her.  He’ll just end up making more of a mess. It would be easier on everyone if he just keeps his distance and sticks to his plan. No matter how lonely he is or how much he wants to return to that home.  

So he drank the rest of his cold coffee and began his work again.


	8. L’esprit de l’escalier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L’esprit de l’escalier (n.) - lit. “the spirit of the staircase”; the feeling you get after leaving a conversation, when you think of all the things you should have said.

“DON’T COME BACK TO ANTEIKU!”

She couldn’t stop her hands from moving as she finally got a punch on him, causing him to fly backwards.  

“Why?”

Her voice was hoarse with emotion and she wanted nothing more than to beat some sense into him, so that’s what she did and continued to do.  Another punch and her voice trembled more (in fear or in anger, she couldn’t tell).

“Why?”

Again, she felt what was left of her heart crumble a little to see the state he was in. He couldn’t even deny her words.

“Why?”

There wasn’t any light left in his eyes. He didn’t even look like the same person that he used to be. That sweet, innocent boy turned into this, he turned into an even bigger idiot who wanted to suffer alone. He turned into something deadly and lifeless. Why?! She asked again, “Why did things turn out this way?”

But he wouldn’t give her an answer and looked more lifeless than the bodies that she used to hunt and now remembering the old him, she didn’t know what hurt more; the memories of the past or the present that was right in front of her.   

She felt like crying, she felt like hitting him again so that he could get some sense back into him, but somewhere, somehow she felt like that was useless. Her knuckles were bruised, her knees were scraped lightly, her voice was hoarse but those things were nothing. They were nothing compared to the state that her mind and her heart were in.  

How-! How could he stand living like this? Living like a tragedy?

Touka stood up, leaving him there. She couldn’t even look at him anymore otherwise she knew that she would end up in tears, mourning the death of the him from before.  

 

* * *

 

She sat in her room, realizing what she had just done. Why did she say all of those things?! There  were better things that she could’ve said, weren’t there? Not to mention…She punched him into a pulp and told him to stay away!  (She chose the worst way to deal with this situation didn’t she?)

Why couldn’t she just be honest?

Why couldn’t she had just asked him to forget all of this nonsense and come back home?

If only she had told him that instead. If there was any chance of him coming back, it was gone since he definitely wouldn’t be coming back now…  


	9. Anhimmeln

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anhimmeln (v.) - To be enraptured by someone (literally, as if looking at the sky).

He appeared before her again.  

 

Looking at the books on display. She almost reached out to grab him by that stupid tie and ask him to change into something more casual, something more like before, but she bite her tongue and said, “Please help yourself.” He flinched slightly, not realizing that she was right next to him.  “The books.”

 

He stared at her with wide eyes. “Ah… Thanks.”

 

It was frightening how much he had changed and yet she still recognized him. But even with his new appearance, more cheerful personality, and briefcase, she could easily see Kaneki. She could still see how much he loved books.  

 

As he took his time to select a book, she took the time to brew him up a fresh cup.

 

“They called you teacher earlier…,” she stated casually, “Are you a teacher at a school?”  

 

“Ah, no. I am a ghoul investigator. I’m their mentor.”

 

“I see. It must be hard work.” She didn’t know what else to say. If she said anymore, she felt like it would be too dangerous. “Enjoy your coffee.”  

 

She cut off their conversation relatively quickly, but he didn’t seem to mind too much.  He opened the book and she decided that it would be better to act like she was busy.

 

He seemed to get lost in the world of print with his grey eyes navigating through the text. She wanted to go over and tell him how much better she’s gotten at reading the difficult kanji and complex bookes. She wanted to tell him her opinions on all of the books that she’s read throughout the years and she wanted to see him get excited over books and the beauty of words.

 

She wanted to see all of that again…

 

But she couldn’t be like this. Not right now. He hasn’t returned just yet. Maybe he’ll never truly return, but she couldn’t help but be enraptured by him.

 

She thought that he was beautiful.

 

She didn’t want to look away from him.  

 

Because who knows how long he’ll be around this time?  


	10. Maudlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maudlin (adj.) - Foolishly sentimental.

The little rabbit sat right on the end of her dresser, looking as innocent as ever. Honestly speaking, she really had no use for it anymore. The little strap was broken, so it’s not like she could attach it to her phone anymore. The once bright pastel colors have faded due to dust and age, leaving behind dusty grayish colors. It was a broken little thing, there was no point in her having something like this anymore. And it would be so simple to get rid of, the trash can was only a few feet away. 

 

She gently poked at the small plush. It was worn down but its fur was still soft. 

 

Though in all honesty, she should’ve gotten rid of it years ago. 

 

Like when Yomo-san said to only bring the necessities with her. She could have easily forgotten about it in her old apartment, it was such a little thing. 

 

Or when she changed her phone, she should’ve just tossed it away with her old phone. It would have made more sense, when people change their phone, they change the accessories that go with it.  

 

Or when strap finally fell off because it was too old. Anyone would throw it away after that, it lost its use completely.   

 

And yet it’s still here. 

 

Still sitting there, staring right at her, doing nothing wrong. Her hand moved towards it, tempted to finally toss it away, but… 

 

In the end, like a fool, she decided once again to tuck the little rabbit safely in a box.  

  
Because it was the first thing that he ever gave her and the only thing from him that ever really stayed with her.


	11. Rimjhim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rimjhim (n.) - A light, tapping sound produced by the series of raindrops rapidly falling and hitting onto a surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of an AU where things are much more peaceful and Kaneki is Haise.

The weather turned from nice to nasty within minutes. It was such a shame too, it was rare that he could have a lunch break outside of the office. At least he was lucky enough to have a coat. Unlike the girl next to him who was dressed in a dress with light leggings.  She really looked cold.

 

“Um…” When the girl turned to look at him, he noticed the goosebumps on her pale skin and the red on her nose. “If you’d like, you can use this.” 

 

“I’m fin…fin-CHOO!” She sniffled as delicately as she could and at looked at him. “I swear I’m fine,” she insisted with her cheeks turning red. Was that from the cold or from embarrassment? (Was it wrong to think that this random stranger was really cute?)  

 

“You look like you’re about to catch a cold. Here, I insist,” he protested as he took off his trenchcoat and placed it over her shoulders. “I’m already wearing a lot of layers,” he pointed out, pulling at his suit a little.  

 

“Thank you…,” she mumbled as she buried half of her face into his coat in an attempt to warm her cheeks. (So cute!) 

 

He smiled brightly. “Not a-”  Suddenly his phone starting ringing. “Oh, excuse me.” 

 

“SASAKI!” a voice screeched out from the phone. Haise immediately pulled the phone away from his ear and winced. “WHERE ARE YOU THE MEETING IS STARTING IN 3 MINUTES AND YOU’RE NOT HERE YET?!” 

 

“I’m sorry Koori-san! I’ll be right back, so-”

 

“YOU’D BETTER BE HERE!” 

 

“Yes sir!” He took off, feeling the light raindrops fall down on him. 

 

“Hey wait, your-”  

 

But he was already off before he realized that she was trying to get her attention. Well since it started raining harder by the time he got back to the office, he figured that girl probably had more use for his jacket.    

 

He wonders if she made it out of the rain alright. She was small, so she was able to cover most of her body with his coat, though would only a coat shield her from nature? 

 

Her light blue hair was the color of rain. Her eyes were a tad darker than her hair, but that didn’t make them any less beautiful. Everything about her just seemed so ethereal. And he couldn't help but remember how she snuggled her face into his coat (Would he be considered creepy if he thought that she looked cute like that?). He wondered if he was ever going to see her again- 

 

“Are you even listening Sasaki?” Koori demanded as his face suddenly appeared in Haise’s line of vision. 

“S-Sorry!” 

 

It wasn't very likely that he would see her again (he didn't even get her name). Though if he saw her again, he'd welcome it and ask her for her name. 

 

* * *

 

“Touka,” the man at the counter called out. “When are you going to change?”

 

“Once I’m done with this cup.” The jacket was so warm and comfortable that she didn't want to take it off and it smelled of ink and coffee with just a hint of rain. The raindrops lightly tapped down on the coffee shop window. She wonders if she’ll see him again, that way she can give him back his jacket,  thank him with a cup of coffee, and maybe ask for his name?  


	12. Hyacinth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyacinth: Please forgive me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An AU where Kaneki successfully returned to Anteiku after the bridge scene.

 

Out of all of the things that she could have expected, she certainly didn’t expect  _ him _ to be standing right at her doorstep with a bouquet of purple flowers right when she was going on a coffee bean run. 

 

“Why are you here?” 

 

“I just wanted to give you these,” he offered, holding the bouquet more towards her.  

 

 “I don’t need your shitty flowers,” she stated sharply. In that instant, she felt like hitting herself. Did she learn nothing from the bridge? Listen to him before completely brushing him off! Or punching him off. “Why are you really here Kaneki?”   

 

He lowered the flowers. “I thought about what the manager said and about what you said and…” His eyes looked more towards the ground rather than at her and his voice became slightly muffled by his crinkling of the plastic wrapped around the flowers, but she could still hear him. “I was wondering if it was okay that I went back to Anteiku.” 

 

Even though she said such harsh things to him, beat him up and demanded that he stay away,  he wanted to come back? But what if he’s just saying that to appease her? What if he returns and just leaves again?  

 

But…

 

“You are a selfish idiot who needs to learn how to make better coffee.” She’s the selfish idiot that wants him to stay. “It’s probably been months since you’ve made any decent coffee.”    

 

“I’ve practiced a little and if that’s not enough, I just learn again,” he stated happily.

 

“Are you really going to stay this time?”

 

He looked up at her and while offering the bouquet again, he softly declared, “I’ll keep my promise to you. So will you forgive me for leaving?” 

 

Touka’s hand moved over his hand that was still on the flowers and that was enough of an answer for him.  


	13. Blue Violets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue violets for love and faithfulness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set for post cochlea. Hope you guys enjoy!

 

When Touka got to the cafe in the morning, she found a beautiful pot of blue flowers peacefully sitting at the counter. There’s no card, so did Yomo-san get them for decoration or something? Who else would get here this early? Though with the way she could hear the clattering of ceramic, that was doubtful. Yomo-san wouldn’t make this much noise, did something break in? 

 

She carefully walked towards the back, only to find a young man and a spilled bag of coffee beans.

 

“I hope you’re going to clean this,” she said as a greeting.  

 

“Good morning Touka-chan,” the white haired man greeted with a smile and a cup of coffee with some very messy lines on it. “Sorry about the mess, I’ll be sure to clean it up. Can you wait at the counter?”  

 

“I guess.” Does that mean that Kankei was the one who brought the flowers?  

 

“Here. I fixed you up some coffee,” he announced as he set down the mug in front of her.  

 

Touka stared at the messy white lines. Was this latte art or something? “What’s this supposed to be?” 

 

“I tried to draw a rabbit on top…” She turned it a little to better see the mismatched ears and the crooked smile of the rabbit. “I know it’s not very good, but I’ll try to get better.” Was that his way of saying that he’ll stay? “Ah, did you already drink coffee today? In that case I’ll just get rid of this-”

 

But before Kaneki could take the mug away, Touka was already taking a sip of the coffee. “The drawing could be worse, but it’s not that bad. I’ll have to teach you how to do it better.”  

 

He smiled a little. “You won’t try to teach me the wrong way again?” 

 

“T-That was because I wasn’t good at teaching!” And because she was immature back then. “So what’s with the flowers?” 

 

“I thought that you might like them and it’s to thank you.” 

 

“Thank me?” 

 

“For letting me come back.”  

 

“You didn’t need to do that.” Him just being here is enough for her.

 

“But I wanted to,” he insisted. 

 

She took another sip and another look at the pot. “Thanks. What kind are they?”

 

“They’re violets,” he answered, picking one out of the pot. She didn’t move as she felt his fingers lightly brush her hair. “It looks good on you,” he complimented with a smile. 

 

She couldn’t help but return his smile.  

  
  



	14. Nail Polish

On rare days off of work, most people tend to relax, sleep in, focus time on their hobbies, do something fun. Yet Sasaki Haise was here, painting her nails, as though it was obvious choice to do on a day like this. **  
**

“How did you even learn to do this?” she asked as he smoothly applied shimmery coats of a blue-ish polish.

“I read a few books and it didn’t seem very difficult,” he explained. (It had come up a lot when he was figuring out how to crossdress properly, but he’d figured that it would be better if Touka didn’t know about that). “Other hand please.”

“Are you sure that this is fun for you? We could have always gone to a coffee shop or a bookstore or something.”  

“It’s fun,” he insisted. “Besides, I get to spend time with you.” Before he started to paint, he looked at her slim fingers. “Your fingers are really beautiful.”

“I don’t think anyone’s ever complimented my fingers.”

“Really?” He tilted her hand a little so he could paint better. “They’re slender and soft and nice to hold.”

“You really are cheesy.”

“But you love me anyways~ Here, I’m done,” he stated letting go of her hand. “Just don’t touch anything for a bit to let them completely dry.”

Touka held it up at eye level, admiring the shine of the blue-purple polish. “It’s not bad.” Then again, she’s never had anything to compare it to except for the occasional blood and coffee stain.  

“Aw, I thought I _nailed_ it.”

“Haise, I swear I am not above hitting you for a lame pun.”

“But you’ll ruin your nails!”

She rolled her eyes. The things that he worries about. She pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. “Thanks.”


	15. White&Black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a warning there is slight nudity is this chapter, but nothing really happens so...I hope you enjoy anyways?

She just wanted to do something nice for him. Especially since he always tries to do nice (and excessive) things for her. Touka just wanted to give him a nice little present (which consisted of one of his shirts, her, and black lace) to show her appreciation for him for being there and for not abandoning her. **  
**

It’s fine that he was late (she will admit that she has been late on occasion),but once the clock turned to 6:34 (which was over an hour later than he promised he’d be back), she’d figured that her time would be better used through TV surfing.

Honestly, she thought that he had better sense to at least text her that he was doing something. That would have been nice to know. Seriously, sometimes he can be so dense!  

With another forceful press on the remote, she saw a show about her favorite fluffy creatures.   

 

* * *

 

“Come on man, if now’s not the best time to see your new place then when will it be?” Hide asked.

The white haired man sighed in defeat. “Since you’re already here, it’s fine if you come in,” Kaneki resigned while unlocking the door. He wished that he could have told Touka in advance, but his phone battery died. “Touka-chan, I’m back-”

“You’re late,” she called out with her eyes focused on the screen.  Even with an eyepatch, Kaneki could clearly see his white shirt, practically displaying a thin sliver of skin from her neck all the way down towards a pair of dark lace. She looked gorgeous, but that didn’t mean that he wanted other people to see her like this.

“Hide…” Kaneki called out in a practically murderous tone while smiling widely at his friend.

Hide quickly turned around. “I’m not looking, I swear man!” he whispered in fear.

Kaneki sighed. Even with her senses, she didn’t even hear Hide’s whispers. Then as he walked over to her, Touka’s full attention remained towards the movie that was playing. “Stay still for a minute, Touka-chan.”

She didn’t seem to notice Hide even as Kaneki buttoned the shirt all the way and made sure that her panties weren’t visible. “I thought you were into this.”

“You look cute, but please don’t show anyone except me,” he requested with a peck to her forehead. “Now can you please put on some shorts?”

“Why?”

“Or else I’ll have to kick Hide out.”

“What are you-” Touka glanced over to where Kaneki was pointing and she became flushed pink before running towards her room to look more… decent. She was so cute, he just wanted to-

No, no, Hide was there. This was not the time to think about that!  

“Hide, you can look again. You want coffee?”  

“You’re not going to kill me are you?” Hide ask hesitantly taking a seat on the couch.

“I would never kill you.” Maybe punch him once, but that would be it. It wouldn’t even be a real punch!

Touka came out with shorts and red on her cheeks. “I’m sorry about that.”

“No, no! It’s my fault for coming unannounced,” Hide insisted.

“Touka-chan, I made you coffee too,” he mentioned while setting the tray of drinks down on the coffee table. “So what were you watching?” Kaneki asked as he pressed another kiss to the side of her forehead.

“Documentary on rabbits,” she answered as they both slumped onto the couch, ready to enjoy the program.   


	16. Latte Art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the recent chapters and featuring some Nishiki/Touka friendship! (I really wish I could have written it better but I hope you still enjoy)

“Why the hell are you staring at a cup of coffee?” Nishiki asked as he walked into the kitchen. **  
**

“No reason!” Touka insisted.

Okay…Not the first time she’s acted weird within the past couple of days. Not like he cares. “Well if you’re not drinking it, fork it over.”

He reached over to grab the cup but she shouted,” No!” before snatching it out of his reach.

“What’s the deal? It’s a stupid cup of coffee and if you’re not going to drink it yourself-” Touka quickly downed the cup, leaving Nishiki more confused than ever. “Ok… What’s your problem?”

“Nothing, nothing at all. Just go get some more milk. We’re out.”

“Huunh? I just got some yesterday! How are we already out? Unless you just poured it out like it was shit, we should still have some shitty Touka!”

She slammed the cup down, nearly cracking it. With a glare, she said,” You heard me shitty Nishiki! Just get the damn milk!”

“Fine.” What’s her problem anyways? Ever since Kaneki came back with them, Nishiki thought that they would just fuck like rabbits but- Wait, rabbits, milk… Latte art? Didn’t he say something about liking those foam rabbits that she drew? “Even if it doesn’t have latte art, I don’t think he cares.”

“What are you-”

“He probably just misses having some good coffee. Why ruin it with milk? It’s not like that latte art does anything to improve the taste.”

Touka blinked. “So you can say things that aren’t stupid, shitty Nishiki.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said right as he heard Kaneki’s footsteps down the stairs. “Just enjoy that he’s here, shitty Touka.”  

 

* * *

 

“Want some coffee?” she offered, feeling nervous that she was alone with him. She poured him a cup and slid it towards him. He liked the coffee before so it should be fine, even if it doesn’t have the rabbit art that he enjoyed all those years ago. (Though now thinking about it, he probably doesn’t even remember that.)

“Ah” a faint smile broke out on his face as his eyes lit up, “It tastes just like the manager’s.” She smiled in return. “Next time, if it’s not too much trouble, do you mind drawing a rabbit for me? You were really good at drawing them.”    

Did he still remember something like that?

Her smile grew a little wider. “Sure.”  


	17. Bouquet of Carnations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Striped carnation: “I’m sorry, but I can’t be with you.” White carnation: “Pure love and good luck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set around the same time as Tokyo Ghoul Re Chapter 31.5.

“Sensei! There’s something for you again!” Mutsuki called out.

“Again?” First it was the mask for Christmas, then the book for Kaneki Ken’s birthday… Was this another present for the missing Kaneki? Exactly who was sending all these things? Or were the each from a different sender? “What is it this time?”

Mutsuki came into the kitchen with a bouquet of carnations, some were a pure white while the rest were tinged with hints of pink. “There’s no card and no one rang the doorbell earlier, so perhaps it’s a secret admirer?”

“I doubt that.” Anyone he’s ever in contact with knows that…Besides, that no one he knows would know where to send them so maybe it was one of the other senders or maybe someone who had a wrong address?  Regardless, the buds were beautiful. “It’s a shame we don’t know who it’s from, I would’ve liked to thank them.”

 

* * *

 

“One of the kids picked it up,” a certain glasses male stated as he walked into a familiar coffee shop.“Next time don’t make me do your work, you hear me?”

“Shut it,” the familiar waitress answered as she poured him a fresh cup of coffee, “I promised you free coffee, didn’t I? Don’t worry, I won’t do anything else that would lose our covers.”   


	18. 1/2 of Me (Haise Sasaki)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Everyone has half of a symmetrical mark on them (butterfly, heart, diamond, spade, etc) and the other half will appear when you meet your mate.

“Ok, that’s enough for tonight,” Haise decided as he saw that the rest of his squad was already tired out.  

“Good work today, Sensei!” Mutsuki exclaimed.

“Good work. Make sure you guys don’t stay up too late. We’ve got an early morning tomorrow,” Haise advised before heading back to his room for a quick shower which he wouldn’t mind but every time he undresses, he goes down a spiral of thoughts.

All because of a little tattoo.

Right where his heart was, there was a delicate crown, inked in black. This mark was completed, at least it certainly looked like it was, and that was something to be happy for. It should be something to be happy for. Any person would be happy to have a full symbol, it means that they’ve already met their soulmate, for him, it wasn’t anything to be glad about.

Because that soulmate wasn’t really for him.

That soulmate was Kaneki Ken’s and he’s just someone using Kaneki’s body.

His soulmate probably wanted Kaneki Ken, not Sasaki Haise, not him. He knows that.

Though…Was it wrong to wonder if that person would accept him as he is?     

 

* * *

 

In another part of town, a blue haired waitress was preparing for bed. As she changed into her pajamas, she noticed a marking on her body.  

Right where her heart was, a delicate crown appeared. She lightly traced the image, wondering if he’ll ever truly remember who she is and what he means to her.  


	19. Your Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cop!au I fell in love with you while I was undercover and I know you’re mad at me for lying but I have to go back to my old life (and I want you to be in it). 
> 
> Kaneki Ken went undercover as Sasaki Haise to discover the culprit of the serial murders in the 20th ward (where :Re is). The main clue that connects all of these murders was that all of the victims had gone to :Re frequently. As Sasaki Haise, he wanted to be more undercover to see if it was the work of one of the staff members at :Re. Cue applying for the open position at :Re, with manager Touka teaching him how to properly brew coffee, among other things.
> 
>  And when the next murder hits, he realizes that he hasn’t been doing his job (he’s just been going on kind of ‘dates’ with Touka and getting to know the rest of the staff better and realizing that they can’t be the murderers) He does find real culprit after watching the actions of the customers. Then when the culprit is finally arrested…. Let’s just say Touka isn’t happy that her sorta ‘boyfriend’ was a cop. 

 

"Welcome.”

Her eye twitched as she saw the man who walked in. His hair wasn’t that strange black to gray gradation anymore but she could still recognize his face, that stupidly handsome- What the hell does he want now?

“You want to go on break?” Yomo-san asked as he held a steady glare at the man walked towards the counter.

“I’ve got this,” she insisted. It’s one customer, one order. It shouldn’t cause her this much… emotion. It’s just a customer who also happens to be a goddamn liar, who just wanted to get close to them, to her, because of his job, who never even trusted her  

“What would you like sir?”

“I’m sorry Touka-”

No, not this, not now.

“If you look at the left board you can see our specials for the day,” she interrupted casually, trying to not care that he looked like he was heartbroken, trying not to really hear the regret in his voice.   

“Can I just explain myself?”

Oh, she knows all about how he was investigating the cafe because of some ridiculous inference that they were connected to the recent murders! So with the most professional smile she could muster, “I’m sorry sir, but unless you’re planning on ordering something, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

He sighed in defeat. “Can I get an Americano? For here.”

“Right away.” Touka went over to grab some beans but Yomo-san took the can of beans away from her.

“Go pick some stuff up,” Yomo-san said while handing her a list. “I’ll take care of the rest of the customers.”  

“Thanks,” she breathed out while snatching the paper. For every step she took towards the door, she could feel a set of eyes on her, but she refused to look at them.  

 

* * *

 

When she noticed that the cafe had already been closed for sometime, she decided to go back. But what should she do about this? It’s not like he can be there everyday but still…It’s not like she can forget everything.

His stupid puns when he tried to make her smile.

The way his eyes lit up when he started to talk about books.

His warm touch that made her feel like there was someone who was willing to stay.

His seemingly genuine smile that was directed only towards her.

Even if it was just a persona for his investigating, was it really all fake? Were all his actions and expressions fake?

The lights were still on in the cafe…Were Yomo-san and shitty Nishiki still cleaning up? Or was Yomo-san waiting for her to come back since it’s gotten so late? Right when she walked in, she almost dropped the coffee beans.   

“Why the hell are you still here?” she spat out.

He sat at one of the stools at the bar, looking directly at her. “Nishiki-san said that if I helped clean up, he would convince Yomo-san to let me stay until you came back.”

Tch! That shitty Nishiki! She dumped the coffee on one of the tables and tried to run up to her room. “I have nothing to say to you and I don’t want to listen to anything that you say!”

“Touka!” He rushed towards her and grabbed her wrist before she could get too far. “Please listen to me!”

“Let go of me, you liar!” she shouted as she flailed her arm.

“I’ll leave!” She stopped, suddenly remembering the promise that he had made, wondering if that was a true promise of a sweet nothing. “Just listen. Then I’ll go if you want me to.”

She wanted to snatched her hand back and run, they both knew that she was more than capable of doing so, but somehow she still wanted to know if he would keep that promise that he made to her that day. She wanted to know if he’d stay.  How fucking trusting of her to stay and listen.   

“I’m going back to the 1st ward.” Of course, it would be something like this. Of course, he would be just like everyone else. Of course he would leave. “I’m going back to the 1st ward,” he repeated slowly, “But I want… to keep visiting you like this. I want to come here and have coffee with you and take walks with you and do things with you.”

“I don’t… What do you mean?”

“Even though I’m done with this job and I’m going back to being myself, I still want you to be apart of my life and I want to be apart of your life.” His grip on her wrist loosened. She could leave him in this instant if she wanted to. “Will you let me be in your life still?”

Both of his hands were still in front of her. He’s not touching his chin.

She looked up into his eyes, realizing that he looked like he was hoping for something. He didn’t seem like he was lying and she knows that he’s a shitty liar. There were so many reasons why she should’ve just told him to never show his face again.  

But…

More than anything, she wanted to trust him, she wanted to trust that what they had was real.  

Touka just mumbled out, “Name.”

“What?”

“What’s your real name?”

“Kaneki Ken.”  His smile widened. “My name is Kaneki Ken.”

“Shitty Kaneki,” she whispered out tenderly. Still, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “You better keep your damn promise.”  

“I will.”


	20. Treat You Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if I had to actually put this in the :Re timeline then I guess this would probably be before the Auction? (I'm not really sure). Also, if any of you follow me on Tumblr and there's a oneshot that is there and not in this little collection, please tell me so I can add it. Thank you and hope you enjoy!

“Sensei, it’s closing time.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that it was so late,” Haise apologized as he closed up his book.

“It’s perfectly fine,” she said with a smile. “Come up to the register so we can get your bill settled.”

There were only the sounds of the register and the passing of bills before some force within him decided to speak.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” The words fell out of his mouth before he could think, but after months of coming to this shop to steal glimpses and faint touches, he wanted to know if this pining would could ever result in something more.

She stopped counting the change for a minute before saying, “1230 yen is your change.”

“Would you mind answering my question?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t see how something like that is relevant to your change,” she answered coolly.  

“It’s not relevant, but I would like to know,” he stated, wondering where all of this confidence was coming from. “Because if you don’t…” Just finish the damn sentence Haise! “I would like us to go on a d-date.”

He barely knew anything about her. All he knew was she worked here as the manager, she liked coffee, she read some of the same books that he liked, she has an older ‘brother’-like figure, and that her name was Touka. That’s really all he knows.

He wanted to know more about her. How she took her coffee. What she did when she wasn’t working. Where she would go to find new books. How her hands would feel against his. How her body would feel against his, he wanted to know. He wanted to know if she even had the slightest feelings for him.

“Please… Please give me an answer.”

She looked down with an apologetic glance and he knew that he wouldn’t get to know all of those things about her. “I’m sorry Sensei. But there’s someone that I’m waiting for.”   

There was a pang of hurt in his chest, but what more could he have expected? She was a beautiful woman and surely someone like her would have someone. Why did he even think that he had a chance?

“What’s he like?”

“A kind book lover who’s kind of an idiot,” she answered picking her words delicately. “He… promised me something and I’m waiting for him to fulfill that promise to me.”

“How long have you been waiting?”

She blinks in confusion. “A few years, I suppose.”

Something about that seemed to fuel a disgusting bile of jealousy and anger. Why? Why would she spend that long? Without knowing if that man would ever fulfill his promise? No one deserves someone like that, especially her.  

“You know, you shouldn’t have to keep waiting for someone who’s always going to keep you waiting,” he said, with a faint hope that maybe she’ll reconsider waiting. Somehow as the next words come out of his mouth he feels a mix of shame and…guilt?  “You deserve someone who will treasure you, someone who won’t make you wait, someone who’s better than he’ll ever be.”

But could he be someone like that for someone like her?

She chuckled lightly as she pushed a stray strand behind her ear. “It’s funny, I always thought he deserved better.” Her light hearted tone was quickly soured by that beautifully heartbreaking smile and he found that his heart twisted more in pain. “Sasaki-sensei, I’m sorry, but I can’t stop waiting for him so easily. He’s still important to me no matter how long he keeps me waiting.”

“I see…” He felt his cheeks light up in embarrassment.  “I’m sorry for overstepping my boundaries.”

He’s envious that he can’t be the person that she loves.

 

* * *

 

_“It’s funny, I always thought he deserved better.”_

And she meant it.

Humans are fragile. Violence and deaths always leaves scars on them and those scars never fade. But ghouls are different. They are raised to fight, because for them fighting is necessary. Petty things like violence and death are typical things are needed to survive.

Kirishima Touka was no different.  

After her father was gone, she only knew how to communicate with  fists, kicks, and kagune shards. It was hard for a ghoul to live otherwise. How else would she get others to leave her alone without a kick?

That was the only way that she knew how to communicate with Kaneki. Even though she tried to listen more, she still ended up using her same old tactics while he used words, actions, and expressions to convey his thoughts.

She could never return those gestures.

She wished that she could have given him a hand and gentle words.

She wished that she could have treated him better.

But it was hard to go against something so natural for her, so if Kaneki Ken ever did come back to her, the most that she could do for him would be offering him a warm cup of coffee.


	21. Sirimiri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sequel to Rimjhim. Can be read as a stand alone.
> 
> sirimiri: (n.) a light drizzle of rain

Haise looked up towards the cloudy sky. Because it was so nice in the morning, he didn’t even think to take an umbrella with him before he left. It shouldn’t take that long for this drizzle to pass. No harm in waiting in that quaint little coffee shop across the street.

“Welcome! Here’s a towel to dry yourself off.”

“Thank you,” he said gratefully as he wiped off the major droplets from his sleeves.  Haise looked up towards the voice and instantly remembered the girl and her light rain colored hair. “Oh! Aren’t you…?”

She smiled. “Thank you very much for lending me your jacket the other time.”

“I’m glad that I could be of help.”

“Please have a seat,” she offered, gesturing to a table. “Our recommendations today include our new matcha latte with sakura whip cream and our signature house blend.”     

“I’ll have a cup of the house blend.”

“Understood. Then please wait a moment.”

Haise glanced around the warmly lit cafe. It felt so much more homey in here than his lonely apartment. Oh, and it looks like there are quite a few books here! Maybe he could find something new to read. Lately everything he’s seen at work is kind of… They’re not bad, but he can’t really relate to them as much.  

Haise delicately slid a book out. Monochrome Rainbow by Takatsuki Sen…He’s pretty sure that he’s heard of the author, but never read her books. Especially since she’s famous for her tragic endings. But maybe this is exactly what he’s looking for.

“Here is your coffee,” the waitress announced as she set down a cup of coffee. She also held a bag out. “Also, I’m sorry that it’s taken a while for me to return this. I did clean it after I was done wearing it.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” he insisted as he took the bag from her with their fingers brushing lightly against each other’s.

“It’s the least I could do. Please take your time.”

He took a sip of the coffee and smiled. It’s delicious. Haise made sure that he was well settled into his seat and opened up the book, feeling very much at home.

* * *

 

“Excuse me sir, but would you like another cup of coffee?”

Haise blinked up to see the waitress and realized what time it was. “Oh it’s already this late?” He still had a bit of work to do when he got back home, if only there was more time, then he could have talked to the cute waitress a little more. “You’ve got a really lovely shop here,” Haise mentioned as he paid his bill.

“Thank you.”  “May I ask what your name is?”

“Haise! Sasaki Haise, and what’s your name?”

“I’m Kirishima Touka,” she introduced as she pushed her hair behind her ear. She gave him a small smile. “I hope to see you again Sasaki-san.”

“Of course!”

At that moment, the sun began to peeked out from the clouds, as though it came out just to see her smile. Well, if Haise could see her smile like that again, then he’ll definitely come back.  


	22. Glances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based off of :Re chapter 122.

Occasionally, Sasaki Haise would come by himself and frankly Touka didn’t understand why he would sit at the side and open a book yet never really read it. She would always feel his eyes following her, but every time she tried to look, he would just hide behind whatever book he picked up for the day. **  
**

Maybe he figured out that she was a ghoul and was waiting until she slipped up before arresting her? No, that was unlikely. Kaneki never had a great sense of smell and the smell of coffee should be pretty pungent. Then maybe he had his memories back?  But if he did, Touka doubts that he would beat around the bush like this.

How was he even looking at her anyways?

The second she turned to meet his eye, his face was down in a book again.

“Oh, so you stir it in a spiral shape,” he mused aloud to make it seem that he wasn’t looking at her.

But he was. Quite bluntly.

“Um… I have your order,” she said.

He finally looked up from his book and smiled at her with bright eyes. “Thank you!”

She’s seen that look before… It’s the same lovesick look that he used to give to Rize before. But this time, it’s directed to her?  “Ah… I’ll set it here.”

“Thank you.”

Touka looked back at him, now seeing the pink dusted on his cheeks and a smile that was trying not to be a huge smile. He really did look just like before. “Please take your time.”

To busy her hands, Touka took to dusting the knicknacks and polishing the mirrors and glasses, still feeling his gaze following her.  In the reflection of the mirror, she could see him looking at her with those same bright eyes as before. She wonders what this version of Kaneki thinks of her.

“Thank you so much for the wonderful coffee. I’ll be sure to come again!” he announced cheerfully before heading out.  

Once he was clearly gone, she buried her face in her hands out of embarrassment. Did  She must be the biggest idiot in the world for being happy about him looking at her like some kind of lovesick fool.

“What’s with that look on your face?” Nishiki asked when he came in for work later. “You look like that idiot couple that was in here last week.”

“Shut up and get to work,” she demanded as she threw a rag at him. Was she still blushing? How was she going to deal with this the next time he comes?   

“Woah, you’re really getting red. Did shitty Touka and the CCG agent do naughty things-”

“I said shut up!” This time, she threw a book at him.


	23. Commuovere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commuovere (v.) - To stir, to touch, to move to tears. 
> 
> Implied Tousaki/Touken

It was just a cup of coffee. He’s had so many cups in the past few years, but none of them have stood out as much as that one. None have ever tasted so…familiar, like home. Maybe that’s why he’s spent years tasting different coffee shops, maybe it’s to find a home for the only true piece of humanity left in him. 

The next time he went to the shop, he went alone, wanting to take a moment have a moment to himself in case he cried again.

“Welcome- Oh.”

Haise instantly recognized the waitress from last time. “Ah.” Now thinking back on it…He must have been so embarrassing! A grown man crying in public! He wouldn’t be shocked if the waitress actually dreaded the fact that he had returned, but he at least wanted to try the coffee one more time (and maybe get an opportunity to talk to her). “I’m so sorry about last time. I don’t normally cry like that.”

“It’s quite alright,” she insisted as she lead him to a table. Internally, he let out of the biggest sigh of relief. Hopefully she didn’t think that he was crazy. “Would you like the same thing as last time?”   

“Yes, please. Oh! Thank you again for lending me your handkerchief,” Haise said as he pulled it  out of his pocket, now neatly pressed and cleaned. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t give it back to you any sooner,” he apologized as he offered it up to her.  

“Oh.” She slowly reached for it. “Thank you. You didn’t have to. I’ll just get your order now.” She quickly prepared his cup and set it down gently in front of him. “Please take your time.”

“Thank you.”

Haise took a deep breath before sipping it. It tasted amazing, to say the least. It’s aromatic yet a little bitter but there was no need for any sugar (not like he could even stomach it). Deep and somehow comforting as though it’s something that he used to know. Almost like a lullaby that a mother would sing to soothe her crying child.   

Even his past self, who was clawing at his consciousness in the wee hours of the morning, was silent. Maybe the coffee was just that good. Maybe it was similar to something that Kaneki Ken used to drink?

Regardless, he just felt more… at peace.

“How is it?”

“It’s probably some of the best coffee that I’ve ever had.”

As Haise at least.


	24. Lucent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucent (adj.) - Softly bright or radiant.   
> Post :Re chapter 125

The moonlight shone through the window, causing his white hair to gleam bright, almost giving him a halo. Touka chuckled quietly, for in this world there are no angels and devils, just confused and imperfect humans and ghouls.

Kaneki looks so peaceful like this. As though nothing in the world could disturb him. It’s the first time that she’s ever seen him like this. Between going on missions, planning, and looking through surveillance cameras, he doesn’t really sleep. At least not like this?

Slowly, she reached out for him, wanting to stroke his vivid white hair. It’s surprisingly softer than she expected. Would he wake up from something like this?

Grey eyes blinked up at her.

“Oh… Sorry.”

“You should go to sleep,” he whispered out a little hoarsely as he took her hand from his head.

“Hm.”

As she slid back down next to him, Kaneki intertwined their fingers together before they both fell asleep with the moonlight softly watching over them.  


	25. Scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post :Re chapter 125.

“You both smell nasty,” Nishiki commented bluntly to the younger woman. Their scents had mixed so much that unless you were looking, you couldn’t distinguish the two.

Touka didn’t flinch as she poured in a fresh batch of coffee. They were all going to have meeting for a more definite plan of what to do next and that could take a while so they’ll need all the coffee they could get. “Then stop sniffing me, shitty Nishiki.”

“It’s suffocating.” Even the smell of coffee couldn’t cover it up. Not that it mattered, anyone in a 10 mile radius knew that those two fucked. Honestly, it had only been a matter of time since Kaneki returned.  

“Then go breath somewhere else.”

Like it would matter. Their damn scent is literally everywhere. If it’s strong for him, he wonders how poor little Hinami feels. Nishiki snagged one of the coffee cups and held it up to his nose, trying to block out the smell as much as he could. “You must be happy.”  

“Of course,” she started, pouring out another tray of coffee. “He’s finally back.”

“That so?” She seemed nonchalant, but Nishiki could tell that she was happy, happier than she had been in a long time. “Congrats, I guess.”  

She looked up at him. “Thanks.”

“Do you need help with that Touka?” Kaneki offered.

“Get that tray.”   

Ugh, with both of them in the room, their scent is absolutely revolting.

“Hey,” Nishiki called out right before he left them be. He smirked knowingly at them. “Try not to make a mess of the place. We just got here.”

Kaneki surprisingly flushed red and nearly dropped the tray of coffee. “W-What-”

Touka was far less embarrassed, shouting, “Mind your own damn business, Shitty Nishiki!”

God, did it remind him of the days that he could smell himself on Kimi all the time. Why did she get so involved with ghouls when she could have had a peaceful ordinary life?

Honestly, she’s far too good of a woman for him.  


	26. Iced Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haise is in this chapter

Today, her hair was styled a little differently than normal. Instead of her hair being loose and fluffy, it was neatly tied back in a little ponytail. Well, it was only natural that she would change her hairstyle especially since it’s gotten so hot lately, but it was unfair on how she could look even cuter than before!  

“Sir?” she called out, facing him with a curious look.

“Y-Yes?” Crap, was he staring? Did she catch him? Oh, what if she bans him from coming here because she’s so creeped out by him looking at all the time?

She gave him a polite smile and asked, “How’s the coffee?”

“Delicious as always!” Should he tell a pun or did she not like puns? Were there people who didn’t like puns?  

“Would you like anything else? Perhaps a refill?” she offered.  

Haise glanced over at his watch. Shoot, his break’s almost over. “No thank you, but may I have 5 iced coffees to go? And the bill?”

“Of course. I’ll have that right out for you.” Should he say something? Would it be weird for him to compliment her? “Here you are. Thank you very much for your patronage.”  

“Your hair is very cute today,” he blurted out.  

“I’m sorry?”

He could feel his ears heat up from that comment.

Before he could further embarrass himself, he grabbed the coffee tray and shouted,“Thanks again!” And he rushed out before the waitress could even get a word out. 

That was so embarrassing! Oh, why did he say something like that? Now how’s he going to face her next time?


	27. Kakorrhaphiophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakorrhaphiophobia (n.) - The fear of failure.

When Ken was younger, he used to fear his exams, because if he didn’t do well on them, he would end up disappointing and angering his mother, so he tried hard to make sure that his grades were always up to her expectations.

When Ken was a teenager, he used to fear a life without Hide, because Hide was his only solace in a world where he did not have a home. He really wanted them to be friends for the rest of their lives.

Those days were so simple since he was young and human.  

But as a young, naive half ghoul he worried about being eaten alive. He worried about losing the small home that he was given and the people that had becomes so precious to him. Even if that meant him sacrificing himself just for them to stay safe.

As Haise, he just wanted to protect the only life he knew by playing the role of a perfect human even though he was quietly suffering in his mind.

But now, none of those fears seemed to compared to the ordeals that he must face for ghouls to go back into the outside world.  

He cannot fail for their sakes, for her sake, for the sake of their child.

He ran his hands over her small bump, hoping that this little flicker of life won’t go away.

“I’ll protect the future for ghouls,” he swore quietly. Should he fail, the consequences would be great, especially with the recent change of events. If something goes wrong, who knows ow many ghouls will die? Failure isn’t an option.

Hecan’tfailcan’tfailcan’tfailcan’tfailcan’tfailcan’tfailcan’tfailcan’tfailcan’t-

Touka placed her hand on top of his head, stroking it lightly. “Don’t forget to protect yourself too.”  

He leaned into her touch and continued listening for the faint heartbeats. “Yeah.”


	28. Touch

His first instinct after removing his shirt was to hide. He was so caught up in the moment that he forgot how disgusting he looked. It was one thing if it was just his fingers or even his hands, but the strange red came up to his elbows.

“I-I’m sorry…” he whispered out, afraid. “Recently… I haven’t been able to heal properly… and…”    

He didn’t feel worthy enough to touch her, she probably wanted to stop after seeing this. After all, he-

But Touka didn’t care. She just stripped and continued touching him without any hesitation. She didn’t flinch as he touched her body and accepted everything just as he accepted every touch she gave him.  

Her softness felt more comfortable than any book that he’s held.

Her warmth was so much better than a cup of coffee.

Her beauty was unlike anything that he’s ever seen.

With a heavenly smile, she whispered, “Why are you crying?”

“Huh?” He blinked, realizing the water coming from his eyes. “Why… Well…”

 He’s never thought that someone’s touch could be so gentle and warm. He’s never thought that he would be loved back by someone that he loved. He’s never thought that he could be so happy before.

They embraced once more, with no clothes or misunderstanding to obstruct them. They enjoyed each other’s touch, for this very moment they could show each other their bare weaknesses and emotions.   

For this very moment, they could be happy.


	29. Filipendulous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Filipendulous (adj.) - Hanging by a thread. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Universe Alteration: If Hinami could see the red strings of destiny. This one shot is completely in Hinami's POV and it is the first time that I'm writing with her perspective, so please forgive me for any possible mischaracterizations.

 

Many people told her that for a ghoul, her senses were particularly sharp. Her hearing could distinguish multiple people and their conditions, even amidst a battlefield. Her nose could easily sense anything familiar or unfamiliar from miles away. But those weren’t the only senses that were special. Her eyes could see things that others couldn’t, little red strings that were tied around everyone’s fingers.  

When she was younger, she asked her mother what they meant and she answered like so:

“That red string is what connects people’s hearts. When you find that two people are tied by a string, that means that they’re destined to be together.”

That’s why Hinami knew since the beginning that Onee-chan and Onii-chan are better together rather than apart because they were destined to be together.

“… If Onii-chan goes back to the store then Hinami will be happy,” she replied, determinedly, “Kaneki- onii-chan and Touka-onee-chan is better together. So Hinami really agrees with Onii-chan going back to Anteiku!”

She wished for their happiness, she foolishly thought that they could’ve all gone back together, but she should have known better.

She should have known that life is not that kind for ghouls like them.

That’s why she needs to become strong. So people like Onii-chan and Onee-chan don’t have to be separated or cry behind closed doors anymore. Because it was cruel that they ended like that.  

* * *

Now trapped by four grey walls, she realizes that they hadn’t ended yet. There was still a chance for them to be happy and together.  

She wondered if she mentioned the past, if she mentioned everyone from Anteiku and Onee-chan, what would happen? Would he somehow remember? Or would he just use that information to try to find all the ghouls that the CCG never caught? If she did this, then she would have to be careful not to give too much away.

“Onii-chan,” she called out right before he stepped out.

He stopped and turned around, responding, “Yes, Fueguchi?”    

The words got caught in her throat as he stared back at her.

It’s strange.

His scent isn’t that much different from before. The string is still there. He brings a few books for her when he comes to visit. His eyes are as kind and as lonely as before. There are certainly many things that are similar…  

But this person isn’t Onii-chan. No matter how similar they are.

She swallowed and said. “No, never mind.” She can’t do it. He’s not Kaneki Ken. As long as he’s like this, then he’ll only be Sasaki Haise.  

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. It’s nothing important.”

“I see. I’ll drop by again.”

The door shut and she waited for a prison guard to take her back to her cell.

She can’t tell him. Not when he’s like this, not when he doesn’t remember who Onee-chan is. Hinami wonders if Onee-chan’s already met Sasaki Haise. What would she have said? Or would Onee-chan just have remained silent and quietly carried on?

Hinami wonders… Are they still meant for each other even though Onii-chan’s the way he is?

* * *

By the time the official wedding started, Hinami could already smell their scents started mixing together. She wondered if  that was because they finished a more intimate ceremony earlier or if it was because of the strange noises that she heard from their rooms at night?

Either way, their wedding was so beautiful! They deserved every bit of it and more. They looked so happy to be together at least after years of separation. And there was no one in sight who would dare object to this union. (Though she wondered if Ayato-kun was here, would he still voice his objections?)

Hinami looked at the glowing red thread that remained to link their pinkies together. That fragile yet persistent string managed to bind them together.

She smiled. It’s no simple fairy tale ending with a guaranteed chance of happiness, but at least they’re not separated by distance or emotions or obligations anymore. At least they can have this and be remembered as husband and wife, no matter what kind of tragedy could befall upon them.    

“Onii-chan,Onee-chan, congratulations!”


	30. Lagniappe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lagniappe (n.) - A special kind of gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one shot is in Yomo's POV and it is the first time that I've written like this, so if you have any suggestions for how I can improve, please let me know.

It wasn’t a secret that Ken and Touka were attracted to each other. In fact, it should be obvious especially with the spectacle of the wedding that they managed to pull off in the underground. Even Yomo had indulged in merriment and drink because it’s such a joyful thing in the midst of surviving.   **  
**

Because who knew the next time that they would all be able to have such festivities together?

Since the wedding, Ken and Touka had migrated to a single cell and kept to themselves a little more than usual. Well, Yomo could certainly understand why. Especially since their scents had merged. Though he’d rather not think about it too much.

But sometimes when he would pass by, he paused to watch them as Ken gently ran his hands across Touka’s little rounded stomach, whispering something only meant for their little family.

Yomo felt a smile spread across his lips as he gazed upon such a domestic, loving scene. He wondered if Hikari and Arata were the same when they found out about their pregnancies.

Hikari…

Even though, she was his precious sister, he wasn’t able to save her. But she still managed to leave behind Touka and Ayato and fate had allowed him to watch over them, even now. Even though the life he was given was not easy nor was it filled with blessings, it was enough to see that his precious niece and nephew were living with all their strength in order to move on in hopes of a better future.

He walked away from the couple’s moment. They deserved to have as much time together as they possibly can afford.

It would be nice if he could hold Ken and Touka’s child someday. Would the child smile or cry if Yomo held them? Either way, the simple joy of holding that child would certainly be the best gift that he’s ever received.


	31. Storytime

“I wish I could spend more time with you two,” Ken whispered one time when he had the opportunity to spend the night with Touka and their growing child.    **  
**

She smiled at him as she snuggled closer, “What would you do if you could?”

“I would read to them.” When he was younger, he always wondered if his father was alive, would he have read books together with him? If his mother wasn’t so busy, would she had read books with him instead of just writing down the definitions of the words he had yet to understand?

“At this point? Would they even be able to understand what you’re saying?”   

“No, but they can hear, so I would like to read to them, so that maybe they can recognize my voice better when they’re born.” If he’s still around…

Touka grabbed his hand. “Hey.” He looked from their intertwined hands to her soothing smile. “Even if you don’t have time now, we can always read to them when they’re born. If they’re anything like you, we’ll have to get lots of books or start making up our own.”

He returned her soft smile. “Ok.” He really wanted that. Not having to worry about death looming over their heads, and just night after night of storytimes with their child before tucking them into bed. He couldn’t ask for anything more.

“But none of the depressing shit that you read before.”  

He chuckled. As expected of Touka to cheer him up. “I think it’s a little too early to be reading them ‘Black Goat’s Egg’. But I know some happier stories.” He turned his attention to where his other hand was, right on top of her bulging stomach. “Would you like that?”  

In response, the baby kicked Ken’s hand.  

“Oh!” If he could feel it, no doubt Touka did. “Did you feel that?”

“Yeah!” Ken turned his attention back to the child. “You like that idea, huh? You want Mama and Papa to read you a lot of stories?”

Another kick.

Touka smiled. “Looks like we’ll have to start having storytimes soon.”


	32. Charmolypi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> charmolypi: (n.) a mixed feeling of happiness while being sad

Ever since they finished closing up shop for the night, Touka just remained seated across from the spot that he had been sitting in earlier. She didn’t move or fidget, she just sat there, staring as though she were in a dream.

Well, it’s not like he couldn’t understand her shock. The boy that they haven’t seen in years came back as an enemy. The boy who could have been dead came back with a single memory of them. Who wouldn’t be shocked?   

Yomo placed a cup of coffee in front of her. That’s all that he could do;  pour a cup of coffee for her, sit with her, and listen when she decided her speak. That’s all he can do for her now.

He blinked as water dropped onto the table. Where was it coming from? Yomo followed the trail and realized Touka’s change in expression. Tears streamed down her face, but she made no move to wipe them away or to look away in embarrassment.  

“Touka?”

A soft smile, but heartbreaking smile broke out on her face.

“He’s alive…”

Yomo closed his eyes. It was too painful to see her like this. Too many years had passed and she desperately clung onto the hope that he was alive. But neither of them had expected something like this to be real.

How could something that was supposed to be so happy be so tragic?

It must be a ghoul’s fate for there to be suffering even in happiness.

 “Yeah.”


	33. Apologize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after :re chapter 131

Kaneki Ken is far from perfect. **  
**

He’s made stupid decisions which resulted in stupid actions. But he’s learned from his mistakes. He’s learned that it’s ok to run away. He’s learned that not every problem has a clear answer. He’s learned that it is better to live for the people you love rather than sacrificing yourself for them.

He engraved these lessons into his heart, but he knows that if you want to protect the people you love, you need power.  He still needs to reform this twisted world for the sake of those he loves, so they can walk freely in the light above the underground.  

What can he do? Besides use his dwindling life to fight until his body breaks?

“Kaneki?” Touka called out with her bright eyes looking at him.

He held her closer, wanting to just remain in his moment. “I’m sorry,” he murmured into her shoulder.

For being an ignorant idiot when they first met.

For trying to be a stupid tragic hero.  

For leaving and not remembering.

For wanting to go down the same path again.

And now there’s a chance that he could leave her again. But this time, he won’t just leave her. He’ll be leaving all the ghouls that placed their faith in him, all the former CCG members that decided to follow him, and worst of all, he’ll be leaving a child without their father.

“I’m so sorry. For everything.” That he has done and everything that he will do. “I-!”    

“Hey.” Touka gently guided his face to look her in the eyes. “We’re still alive.”

“But…”

“Just do what you can,” she whispered, cradling his head, “No one will blame you for the things you’ve done or won’t do.”


	34. Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in Ayato's POV. The child does not have a specific gender in this drabble, so interpret as you please.

Ayato has no shame in admitting his flaws. He knows that there are parts of him that are rough around the edges, no one’s perfect. He knows that he doesn’t get along well with that many people and maybe it’s because he doesn’t really understand them. Which could explain why he doesn’t really like kids.   **  
**

They’re unpredictable, messy, won’t listen to you, they’re disasters with diapers. Why his sister decided to give birth to one is a damn mystery for him, especially considering that she did it with the one eyed bastard (And Ayato is not terrified of him, dammit! And he wasn’t at all scarred by that mental image or was tempted to burn off his nose after getting a whiff of their melding scents).

But it’s not like he can just not visit the kid. Especially since Touka insists that he needs to spend more quality uncle time with said child.

“Aneki,” he called out.   

Touka looked up at him, smiling gently.

“Look, it’s Uncle Ayato,” Touka pointed out to the small brat cradled in her arms. The baby looked up at him and gurgled out something. Touka smiled softly at the brat, just like how their dad used to smile at them.  

Hopefully this little brat doesn’t have to face the pain and hardships that come with living without a parent.

Ayato crouched down so that Touka didn’t have to move. “Here, I got the brat a gift,” he grunted as he handed over a plush rabbit.

“Come closer,” Touka gestured as she lead the baby’s hand towards Ayato’s. He wanted to back up from how warm that little hand was, but he didn’t pull away. Touka held the toy up, “Isn’t that nice? Uncle Ayato got it for you.”

The child smiled widely and cooed in happiness.

Ayato cracked half a smile. Goddamit, the kid’s adorable. “Glad ya like it, brat.” 


	35. Tsundoku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsundoku (n.) - The act of buying a book and leaving it unread, often piled together with other unread books.

Each year since :Re’s been opened, Touka decided to buy new books around Christmas time. Because even if she can’t give that person anything (without any repercussions), she can at least keep filling the shop with things that he might enjoy.

“Is there something in particular that you’re looking for today, Miss?”

“Do you have any book recommendations?”

“Plenty!” The sales associate chirped out. “What type of genre are you looking for? Is there an author that you enjoy so I can narrow down my range of recommendations?”

“I read from Takatsuki Sen a lot. Like ‘The Black Goat’s Egg’ and ‘Monochrome Rainbow’.”  

“Miss, you’ve got quite the taste don’t you?” The sales assistant began rattling on about different book options, while Touka was doing her best to focus and pay attention to the summaries the sales associate was happy to give.

She’s still not that much of a bookworm. Honestly,  all she’s read within the past few years are the books by Takatsuki Sen. While those books are difficult to read, they’re ones that he enjoyed the most.  Even though Sasaki Haise doesn’t seem to care much for them. But there are other books that he can enjoy as well.   

Or hide behind in an attempt to make it seem like he wasn’t staring at her.

(She wonders if she should be flattered or worried that he looks at her like that)

“Thank you for your purchase, please come again,” the sales associate said as they handed Touka the bag of new books.   

This wasn’t good, he was in her head more than she wants him to be. After today, she needs to focus on more important things. Like information about the Doves and managing the shop. She can’t always be thinking about someone that she-

Her thoughts were immediately cut off when she ran straight into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” she apologized while looking up towards the person, only to realize that she just bumped into was the very investigator that she was thinking about.  

“It’s fine, no harm done. Oh!” He smiled widely at her, just like before, as though nothing was wrong, “What a coincidence!”

She returned his smile with the same one that she always showed customers, “Hello.”

“Is it your day off today, Kirishima-san?” he asked politely.

“I had a half day,” she explained. “I was about to return to the cafe now.”

“I see.” He looked down at her bag of books. “I didn’t realize that you were such an avid reader.”

“They’re for the cafe, I like to expand the selection that we have.”

“Then I’ll have something to look forward to next time I come!” He’s so cheerful and talkative now… She wonders whose influence that was a result of.  “Um… Kirishima-san, if you don’t mind-”

But before he could finish his sentence, someone shouted, “Maman!”

“O-Oh, I guess that means that I should get going,” he explained sheepishly as he raised his hand to wave at her. “Then I’ll see you at the shop next time.”

“Yes. Until then.”

 

* * *

 

“Yo manager,” Nishiki greeted as he looked up from his coffee, “Back from your errands?”

“Get your feet off the counter,” she scolded as she headed towards the bookshelf to place her newest purchases in their new home.

“More books?”

“What else would they be?”

“Did you even read the last books that you brought?”  

“Some of them.” Mainly the ones about coffee to see if there’s anything new she could try in the shop.

“Kaneki might not even read them you know.”

Her hands stopped, but her fingers continued to trace the spine of one of the new books. “I know. But I will continue to do what I’ve decided to do.”

No matter how foolish it is, no matter how many books pile up, she will continue to wait.


	36. Peonies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peonies are said to symbolize a happy life and a happy marriage

“I can’t believe that he got married before me,” Hide exclaimed with his eyes cheerful and happy. “And he’s gonna have a kid, it’s amazing how much things have changed.” For the better and for the worse. “Are you sure you’re alright, Touka?”

“I’m fine.”

“Ok. But make sure you don’t exert yourself!” he requested as he put a blanket over her shoulders. “You’ll need to keep up your strength and stay healthy.”  

“Do you hate me?”

“How could I?”

“But aren’t you…”  

“I just want Kaneki to be happy.” Touka looked at him, really truly looking at him for the first time since they’ve met. Hide’s eyes looked at her kindly. “For him, that means that you stay by his side.”

So that’s it… He’s that kind of person. The kind of person who just hopes that the person he loves is happy. Even if that means he’s not apart of that happiness.

Touka understands that feeling, she felt it everyday that Kaneki came into the shop as Haise with his goofy smiles and cheerful demeanor.  

But these circumstances are different.

There’s no need for lies between the two of them anymore, there’s no need to hide from each other. If Hide wants Kaneki to be happy, honestly happy, then he has to be there!

“No,” Touka stated without hesitation.

“No?” He glanced at her and looked down at her stomach, “Oh right, I can’t be forgetting about this little rabbit-”

“He’ll be happier with you by his side,” she declared. Hide’s a precious person, an important existence, he’s someone that Kaneki needs in his life. That’s why Hide can’t leave Kaneki again. “You’re going to stay right?”

His eyes lit up as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “If you say it like that, then it’s gonna be hard to leave.”

“Then don’t leave.” She stood up in front of him with her hand extended. “Let’s get him back together.”

He smiled and took her hand. “Yeah, let’s bring that lonely rabbit home.”


	37. Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Complement story with Hesitation. Set in :re chapter 72.

Once again, she’s taken by the sight of him coming head on into danger without a care for himself. Why? Why does he always do this? Has nothing changed from when they last spoke on that bridge? 

 

If it’s like this, she almost preferred him as a CCG puppet. 

 

Just what should she do? Stay? No, they still needed to reach Hina and she would rather not see him die right before her eyes.  Then should she try persuading him to run? No. He’s already made up his mind, she could tell by the look in his eyes.

 

Just what should she say to him now? Now that he’s at death’s door again? 

 

“Kaneki!” 

 

He flinched, but he refused to face her. 

 

What can she possibly say now?

 

“Kaneki.”   

 

Even though this is the closest she’s been to Kaneki in years, she’s never felt further away. 

 

He didn’t face her, but she could see his eyes look back towards her. This time she won’t yell at him or punch him, those actions won’t do a thing now. So instead, she smiled, hoping for some possibility that he’ll get out of this alive. 

 

“I’ll see you later, ok?” 

 

She hopes that those words are true. 


	38. Vitamins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by @just-another-otp-prompt-blog‘s prompt: https://just-another-otp-prompt-blog.tumblr.com/post/171123718440/otp-prompt-191-person-a-takes-a-deep-breath-rolls (Thank you so much for the inspiration!)

Haise looked up at the sign of the bar while shifting his balance from one foot to the other. Logically speaking, he’s got work tomorrow, so it’s probably not a good idea to go to the bar to go talk to the beautiful woman who always seems to be there. Maybe he should just go, come back another time-

“Hey, man!” With a heavy and loud slap at his shoulder, he looked up to see his bartender friend who first suggested that he attempt to flirt with the pretty woman. 

“Hide…I’m not sure if I should-” 

He smiled reassuringly at him and lead him inside, “Come on in, I’ll make you something, so just put your coat down.” 

“O-Ok.” 

Haise glanced up to see the beautiful woman, sitting with a glass in her hand, looking like the most elegant thing to grace the bar that night. God, he hopes that he doesn’t mess this up.

“How’s everything going, miss?” Hide asked politely. 

“Can I get another one of the same?” 

“Of course.” Hide goes to the back to work on her order, so it’s just the two of them in this quaint little bar.  

Haise takes a deep breath, rolls his shoulders back, and walks up to the bar where the beautiful women is sitting. 

He’s good at talking with people and his students seem to enjoy his public speaking skills and jokes. If he can deal with upset students and grumpy professors before their cup of coffee  he can totally do this! 

(And if not, then he’s never coming back to this bar and he’ll just have Hide bring this up for the rest of their lives.)

“Do you need something?” a soft voice asked. Oh, she’s staring directly at him, (wow are her eyes pretty) he needs to say something!  

“Heh-hi,” Haise says, and gulps nervously before continuing. “I know they say it’s not good to take medicine with alcohol,” he placed a prescription bottle on the bar, hoping that she didn’t notice his hand shaking in the dim light, “but I think you’re seriously lacking in vitamin me.”

Curious, she picks up the bottle and reads the label. He hopes that she doesn’t decided to read it aloud or chuck it, because both would be a dramatic stab at his self-confidence. 

  * Prescribed to: the gorgeous woman at the bar that always mesmerizes me 
  * Directions: Take as much as you want
  * Contains: vitamin me



She opened it up to see it filled with nothing but chocolate.

“Alright, I’ll go for it,” she decides and turns to face him fully.

“Really?” He’s tempted to throw a fist pump in the air, but before he could, she spoke again.

“What would you do if I told you I was allergic to chocolate?” she smirks as she sets the bottle carefully to the side.

“I’d offer to buy you a drink instead.”

“And what if I preferred a dose of vitamin U?”

Haise chokes and takes a few minutes to compose himself before spontaneously combusting. “I’m, um, i -uh- I’d be happy to.. Uh, prescribe… that.”

She chuckled, low but melodic against the silence of the bar with an amused smile on her face. “Great.”

“I’m Haise,” he introduced, as he settled into the chair next to her. “What’s your name?”  

“Touka.”  


	39. Treasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during :re chapter 126

“Papa, papa! What’s that?”

 

“This?” he asked pulling at the chain around his neck. She nodded vigorously. It’s so pretty and shiny! “This is something your Mama gave me.” 

 

“Mama?” 

 

“Yeah. Your mama gave it to me a long time ago,” he explained while he unclasped the chain and allowed Touka to hold it. “It’s one of my treasures.” 

 

“Treasure?” she parroted. She wondered what that meant. 

 

He smiled sadly at her and patted her head, “I hope that it'll become your good luck charm someday, Touka.”

 

* * *

 

“Arata… Hikari?” Kaneki read aloud. 

 

“My father and mother,” she answered. “Whenever I hold it, I remember them.” How they desperately tried to salvage a happy life. How they tried to protect each other as well as her and Ayato. How strong they tried to be against this cruel world. “It’s been a source of strength for me. It’s something I hold dear, do you can have it.”

 

“Wha-Really?”

 

“Yeah.” Hopefully, her treasure can be something that will give him strength. 

 

“Well then, every time I look at this, I’ll remember you Touka!” he exclaimed with a smile. 

 

She turned away to hide the blush that was creeping onto her face. That idiot, why is it that he can always spout out things like that? It felt so stupid that the tiniest of phrases from him could move here yet it made her feel so happy that they could have these bits of happiness together. 

 

Even if all that's waiting for them are hardships and angst, they're still going to live to the best of their ability. 

 

She extended her hand out towards him, “Let’s go. Everyone’s waiting.” 

 

He smiled and took her hand, squeezing it lightly, “Yeah.” 

 


	40. Abendrot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abendrot (n.) - The color of the sky while the sun is setting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the bridge scene.

 

“Why did things have to turn out like this?!”

 

“Why indeed?” he whispered softly as Touka’s figure disappeared from his sight.  

 

He laid there, softly massaging the bruise on his chin. It didn’t hurt as much as before, but this particular wound stung. He… just thought it would be better if he left, he needed answers, he needed to take action, he needed to be strong! 

 

He wanted strength!

 

He wanted to be strong to protect what he loved. If he doesn’t, then he’ll just continue losing what’s precious to him. If that continues then he’ll end up alone. 

 

He doesn’t want to be alone. 

 

He wants to be with everyone. 

 

He wants to go back to working at Anteiku, Koma-san’s lame puns, Irimi-san’s quiet demeanor, Nishio-senpai’s blunt remarks, and the Manager’s coffee. 

 

He wants to spend time with Hinami-chan and Banjou-san, teaching them more about books and writing. He even just wanted to pick out books for himself and discuss them with Tsukiyama-san.

 

He wants spend time with Hide again, talking about everything and nothing. He wanted to tell Hide that everything was alright with him, that he wasn’t going to disappear so suddenly again. He wanted to eat with Hide again, even though normal food tastes so disgusting. 

 

He wants to be near Touka even if she doesn’t forgive him. He… misses her. He misses how they used to train together, how he helped her study, the late nights they spent closing up Anteiku; he missed it all.  

 

He wants to go back.  

 

But does he have the right to?

 

Kaneki looked up towards the sky. The vibrant colors melding into the dark backdrop of the night. It took his breath away. How beautiful. 

 

The sky looked like Touka-chan’s kagune. 

  
  



	41. Billet-doux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Violet Evergarden. Which is such a great anime, I highly reccomend it, but it does get quite sad.

“If a customer requests it, then we shall go anywhere. Representing the Auto Memoir Doll service of Anteiku, I am Touka Kirishima,” she introduced with a curtesy.  

 

“We’ve been expecting you Ms. Kirishima,” the servant stated and with a gesturing hand guided her. “This way please.”

 

“Yes.” She picked up her suitcase and followed him inside. 

 

The man walked promptly in time and spoke loudly and clearly as their footsteps echoed down the halls, “The master is currently recovering from a previous incident, so he requested that you’ll conduct business without seeing him.”

 

“If that’s what the customer requests then I will respect it,” she politely responded. Perhaps this person was also a victim of the recent war.

 

How lucky then. That he was able to come home.  

 

She glanced down at the little worn rabbit doll that decorated her otherwise black case. Life had never been fair to her before, why should she expect it to be fair now? 

 

Right besides a door, there was a table with a chair set up for her. The butler gestured her towards it then promptly knocked on the door loudly three times and a timid voice called out, “H-Hello?”

 

“Sir, the ghostwriter has arrived. I will return when the time in up.”  He turned his heel and left her with the man behind the door. 

 

“Thank you for requesting our service today sir,” she thanked as she readied her hands to type. While it felt awkward saying that to a door, but as long as she can hear him, there shouldn't be a problem. “Who should I address this to?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Did she hear that right? “Pardon?”

 

His tone quickly switched to apologetic, “I’m sorry, I must sound so stupid.” She tried to listen closer in case he was whispering but all she could hear some kind of fabric moving, before the man softly declared, “I don’t know who I need to give this to.” 

 

This request has just become more troublesome than she expected. But she still has a job to do. As long as something gets written to satisfy her client, then that should be fine. 

 

For now, she’ll just have to find out what he can remember. “Is it someone important?”

 

“I think so.”

 

Just how badly was he injured that he couldn’t remember that? 

“Try to tell me about them,” she requested with her hands now resting on her lap.  

 

“I…think I loved this person, but…if it’s like that, then I must be a terrible person for not remembering their face let alone their name.” But there’s still a chance that they’ll meet again as long as they’re both alive. “I’m so sorry that you have a client like me, but I…I honestly don’t know what to say. Thousands of words come to mind, but I can’t think of a single thing to put to paper.”  

 

Isn't that a familiar feeling? 

 

If she closes her eyes for just a moment, she can see it clearly. Even now she remembers his white hair and that empty look in his eyes. On that day, he decided to fight. On that bridge, she shouted nothing but curses and told him to leave. 

 

Regret and guilt set in soon after. 

 

Even more so after his missing in action status. 

 

There were thousands of words she wanted to tell him once he got back. She was always wishing that she said something. She should've said stay instead of go.

 

But even if she were to write a letter with millions of words, how could it reach him?

 

“What comes to your mind?”

 

More rustling about before she hears him take a deep breath. “I want to say sorry. I’ve done a lot of wrong. I left and never returned, and who know what other wrongs I’ve committed towards them?” 

 

“I see.” That was something that she could work with. “Then do you want them to forgive you?”

 

Silence sank in. 

 

“No. I don’t want to apologize to be forgiven. I want to apologize because I want them to know that I regret my choices and my actions and that even if I'm just a shell of who I used to be, they'll always be on my mind.” She could hear some rustling again, “Can you help me find a good way to say that?” 

 

“Of course, sir.” 

 

What he said is more than enough.  Honestly, if he were Kaneki then those words would be enough for her. 

  
  


“I have completed the letter. Shall I slide it under the door so you can read it or shall I read it to you aloud?”

 

“Please just slide it under the door.” She heard movement, but nothing distinct apart from the paper picked up. The silence was maddening. Was there something about the letter that he didn’t like? Was it because it was too short? “… Thank you.” 

 

“Of course sir.” She paused before grabbing her typewriter. “I hope that you'll be able to send this letter to your important person.” 

 

“Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

_ To the one that I hold close in my heart,  _

 

_ I’m sorry.  _

 

_ I don’t know what other way to apologize and I don’t know how I can make it up to you. I want you to know that I’m sorry. Even if you don’t find it in your heart to forgive me, just know that I am thinking of you. I hope that one day we’ll b able to meet again.  _

 

_ With all the love that I can offer,  _

 

_ Haise Sasaki  _


	42. Higgledy-piggledy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Higgledy-piggledy (adv.) - In a jumbled, confused or disorderly manner; helter-skelter. Inspired by :re chapter 160.

Red fill her vision. 

 

But there wasn’t any time for her to stay to ask if the man was ok.

There wasn’t time to think, this was kill or be killed. She needed to survive, she needed Ayato alive, they were alone and they needed to run!

 

Even as tears blocked her sight, she kept running and running.  Not caring about the blistering pain on her feet or the weight of her brother on her back. 

 

She needed to keep running. 

 

* * *

Red stained her hands. 

 

She was digging, not knowing where to go, but she had to keep moving or she won’t be able to find him. She shouldn’t be scared now, her hands have been soaked in blood for so long that something like this shouldn’t scare her anymore! 

 

She clawed her way through the tough masses of sinewy muscle and kagune, not caring about how prominent the smell was becoming, not caring about the pain as her nails were breaking off. She kept digging and digging. Kaneki can’t remain like this, they need him, she needs him! 

 

Finally she hit something. 

 

It’s a fucking deformed arm covered in eyes. 

 

_ With the chained ring coiled around it.  _

 

She nearly screamed at the sight. 

 

Damnit, damnit, damnit! She doesn’t have time to keep panicking. She doesn’t have time to cry at the thought that sometime worse might have happened. It’s not him, she needs to keep digging. She’s not just going to leave her husband like this!

 

Figures emerged from the kagune around her, she doesn’t have the strength to fight, so they threw her. 

 

It hurts, it fucking hurts and she’s not sure how much longer she can last like this. She can’t fight much longer. But she’s not going to run.  

 

Another large creature emerged from the kagune. 

 

She’s not going to run! 

 

But before she dodges or even thinks to launch an attack, the creature fell. 

 

She looks up towards the Quinx, before turning all her attention back to the disgusting mass of red. Kaneki had to be there somewhere, he had to be, she’s not going to let him leave again, not like this! 

 

THERE!

 

With every ounce of strength she could muster, she ripped apart the red masses as saw…  

 

Kaneki! 


	43. Hesitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Companion fic with Distance.

He can't look at her.

 

He'll just crumble if he even glances over. 

 

Remember! He needs to get Hinami out, he needs to fulfill his plan, how else is he going to be loved?! 

 

Her voice rang out, “Kaneki!”

 

Without thinking, he glances towards her. She’s still as beautiful as before. And for a second, he almost thought about abandoning his plans, before firmly reminding himself that this is what he’s  been waiting so long for, for the Reaper to come and take him. 

 

He wonders if she knows. 

 

With a smile, she said, “I’ll see you later ok?” 

 

Those words… They’re the same as the ones that he told her before. But unlike him, her intentions were completely different. Instead of pushing him away for all the wrongs that he’s done, she’s been waiting. Even now, she’s still hoping that he’ll return.  

 

But how can he? 

 

When he’s already going on this path to self destruction? 

 

“That’s not fair.”  How could she say something like that when he's already made up his mind? “You’re a cruel one, Touka,” he whispered as he tried to stop the tears from coming. 

 

Even then, a single one slipped from his eye. 


End file.
